now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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