ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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