He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I wear drunk well.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
