If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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