Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
