Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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