At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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