she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
