no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
