I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
