Where are you?
In a non slutty way
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
