Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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