Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize