Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
