so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I want to make a zoo with you.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
