Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Randomize
