i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You were trust falling into bushes
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize