She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
