No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
