In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
