Kiss
Puke
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
