It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
