the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
