I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
