Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
