So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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