How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
