I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
