if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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