hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
