if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I could fuck to npr.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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