I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
