White coat. Heels.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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