i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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