This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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