I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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