Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
