I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Did I show you my penis last night?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
