she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
