You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
