Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
