His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
