Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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