i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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