morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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