i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
