My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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