I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
