We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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