I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
we're so committed to being not committed
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
