We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
