You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
