Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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