We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
