is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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