Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
