Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Everclear isn't food dammit
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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