i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
