im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
