Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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