apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
