He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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